Play Therapy

Play Therapy Basics

We often think of children as little adults. Sometimes we think about how smart children are, and then feel a bit disappointed when they do not follow directions, or, worse, do the exact opposite of what we ask. Children absorb information differently than adults because their brains have not yet sufficiently developed. While children have the same emotions as adults, they do not have the language to express these emotions. For young children, emotions are absorbed through sensory perception, not verbal understanding. Children have abstract representation, but not abstract thought. Children also have casual attribution, and casual logic, which sometimes leads them to make funny conclusions. Preschoolers (5 and under) may manifest associative logic, so if something scary or negative happened at a certain place they may not want to go there again, afraid that history will repeat itself. A child’s sense of the world is as much magical as real.

Children are ten times more sensitive to sensory information than adults. This information and an array of emotions are stored viscerally (in their bodies) which can lead to distress for many children. When children are distressed, their behavior changes. Children do not have the words or the understanding to express what is felt. A child might start acting out at school, at home, or with friends. Sleeping or eating habits may change. A child may have difficulty following rules, doing chores or homework, or withdraw from usual activities. Children may cry over what we adults consider insignificant events.

For children, play is how all this is processed. It constitutes the work of play therapy. Talking can actually limit children’s expression, while play can help them to work things through. The therapist helps by interpreting a child’s play through reflection and intervention. During the early stages of play therapy children make a secure connection, feel acknowledged, and have their feelings validated. What seems like ‘idle’ chitchat is used to address specific areas of distress that brought attention to their behavior in the first place.

Children often don’t understand what therapy or what a therapist is. Instead a child might see the visit on the same scale as visiting a friend, or attending a play date. Parents often mistake the therapeutic intervention of play therapy as play time. It is not. Play therapy is the child’s equivalent of adult therapy. It allows a child to go through a unique process of healing. Children learn from working through things rather than through language.

Statistics show that the average parental communication with children consists of 85% commands or demands, 13% directives, and 2% empathy. One of the byproducts of play therapy is an increase in empathy in the family, and a decrease in demands and directives.

WHAT WE WORK ON IN PLAY THERAPY

• Help to build and improve self-esteem, and respect others

• Increase positive communication, including self expression and understanding of others

• Develop realistic expectations of one’s self and others

• Set realistic and attainable goals

• Learn the merits of cooperation

• Increase concentration and attention

• Develop empathy for others

• Facilitate healing of past (or present) traumas

• Explore creativity and imagination as useful life and social skills

• Learn problem solving and anger management skills

• Dissolve anxiety and its complications

• Learn relaxation and focusing techniques